What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?
by Nymph Du Pave
Summary: Slash: Fluffy story from Lex's POV about love [CLex lovin' ;) ], family and the holidays. CK/LxLr -ENDING POSTED-
1. Chapter One

**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**

TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter One]   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.   
RATING: PG-13   
SUMMARY: Slash: A fluffy story from Lex's POV about love [CLex lovin' wink-wink>], family and the holidays. CK/LxLr   
DISCLAIMER: WB and whomever else own this wonderfully cute show. I am merely borrowing characters to use in my own evil ways, and will return them as mentally cognizant and stable as when I took them [with the exception of the incredibly handsome and elegant Michael Rosenbaum of whom I might never let go ;)].   
FEEDBACK: Oh, please!! Do tell me everything!! ;)   
AUTHOR'S EMAIL: nymph_du_pave@hotmail.com   
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Has not been beta'd, sorry. Follows "Cold". The events of "Hourglass" and "Jitters" never happened. Also, I wrote this seeing Lex as 23 and Clark as 17. Just a personal preference, nothing that I push on the readers [except right here :)].   


* * *

  
**What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?**

_Chapter One_   


Lex let up on the accelerator and slowed, not from any sense of self-preservation but more from nerves. He was now only a mile from the Kent farm, and his eyes briefly pulled away from the snow-slicked road and over to the large red, gold and green bag sitting in the passenger seat, containing three festively-wrapped parcels. Looking back to the road, he shifted anxiously, a little nervous about the damned things. 

He had wanted to get something for Clark- more as an excuse to see the boy than anything else- and then had instead found a jacket that he figured would have looked great on Clark's mother. He realized that he already had the perfect gift for his best- and only- friend at home, but at the same time recognized that he couldn't leave Jonathon Kent out of the present loop just because the man didn't like him. So he had mulled for a day or so over just what peace offering to pick up. Then it had hit him, almost out of the blue. 

The last time Clark had been over at the manor dropping off the produce, Lex had invited him in- just like _every_ time Clark came over for _any_ reason- and the boy had been laughing over the most recent argument between his parents. His father and his motorcycle had found another way to get under Martha's skin, and now Jonathon needed a new part. One that he couldn't get until after Christmas because all of the stores would be closed. 

_Closed to him, at least_, thought Lex. He didn't intend to share his methods of acquiring the part with Jonathon, but hoped that the gift would at least put him in the "not entirely despicable" category of the man's mind. He wasn't holding his breath though. 

He pulled into the driveway and stopped the car, grabbing the bag of presents before he stepped out of the Porsche and headed for the front deck. 

"Lex!" 

Startled, he looked up to the roof, and was even more surprised to find Clark standing there with a cup of something steaming in his hands. "We heard you drive up." 

Lex decided to go with a less obvious question than _'What the hell are you doing on the roof?'_. 

"What's your beverage?" 

Clark grinned. "Hot cocoa. Wanna come up?" 

Lex swallowed. He'd never been one for heights _at all_. It was what he saw as his single unchangeable fear and weakness. "I- uh-" 

"Clark?" Martha's voice interrupted, leaving him a little relieved. "Coming back?" 

"Yeah, just a moment, Mom." Clark placed his drink on a flat surface of the roof and reached his hand down to Lex. Lex just looked at him, eyebrows reaching as far up his forehead as they went. 

"Can I help you?" 

Clark ignored him. "It's easy, Lex, just step on the rail up there," he nodded to the railing on the porch, "-then grab my hand and I'll pull you up." 

As tempting as touching Clark was, he wasn't really feeling in the mood to hop up the front of a farmhouse. "Why don't you come on down here? I've got these." He said holding the Christmas bag up, hoping to lure Clark down there with him. 

"Bring them." 

Lex was getting desperate. "I might loose my balance or something." 

The somber look on Clark's face surprised him and he took a deep breath. "I would never let you fall, Lex." 

Was his fear of heights that damn obvious? Had Clark really seen his weakness underneath the Luthor steel frame? 

_From the look in Clark's eye, I say it's a safe bet._

Lex looked away from that gaze, a little too intense for him to bear, and reluctantly moved to the steps. Clark reached down enough to grab the bag, putting it to the side, then reaching back for Lex. 

He put one expensively clad foot on the wooden porch railing and tried to jiggle it with his foot. It didn't budge. 

_At least it's sturdy._

"It holds me, Lex." Clark's voice was soothing, but also low enough for only one other person to hear what he was saying. Lex wondered how the kid knew him so well. Everything about living in the past- the car accident still had him shaken up- and all of the understanding glances and reassuring smiles. Now this. It was like Clark could see inside of him, could tell just what he was thinking, but better than that, Clark seemed okay with what he saw. It was like Clark knew things about Lex that he wouldn't even admit to himself, but liked him anyway. 

He sighed and grabbed Clark's hands with both of his, the physical contact reassuring and calming, then pushed with his legs and was hauled up to the railing. 

Clark moved closer, his hands ducking under Lex's arms, his hair lightly brushing the older boy's smooth scalp. "Ready?" 

He took a deep breath, nodded, and was pulled up by a surprisingly strong Clark. His feet got purchase on the roof and he walked forward as Kent stepped back, grabbing Lex's hands to help sturdy the older man. He was torn between wanting the feel of Clark to go on- the boy's thumbs on the back of his hands, the fingers clamped within Lex's tight grasp- and the pride of not needing the help. 

Clark's thumbs stroked Lex's hands and he looked up into the boy's eyes, startled at the motion, but saw nothing there but a guy wanting to make sure his friend was fine. Lex reluctantly released the pressure on Clark's hands, hoping that if Clark really could see inside of him, he wouldn't see the heated yearning. 

"Don't-" started Clark. 

Lex looked behind him, saw the distance from the roof to the ground, saw that his feet looked mere centimeters from the edge and he lost his balance. He felt the tips of his feet raising and his heels getting heavier. 

_I'm falling, shit!_

Before he knew what was happening Clark's hands were wrapped firmly around his waist and he was pulling Lex to him. Their bodies weren't touching, but when he glanced up at Clark he saw that the kid's face was only a few inches from his. 

"It's okay. Sorry, I didn't warn you fast enough. We're on a slope, so when you look down-" 

"You loose your balance." 

Clark nodded and lowered his voice, fingers flexing, hands still lingering on Lex's waist. "You okay?" 

Lex grinned and shook his head. "The things I do for you, Kent." 

Clark blinked, clearly surprised. He smiled questioningly and raised his eyebrows at Lex before the older boy realized the words had tumbled from his consciousness and out of his mouth. 

_Damn words._ Instead of staying put in his head where they belonged, they had escaped into the real world where Clark could pick up on their meaning. Luckily for him, Clark wasn't too quick with subtle undertones, at least when it came to Lex. Otherwise, he would have had a clue to the older boy's feelings for him, would have gotten one months ago. 

Lex looked away from Clark's surprise, flushing and ashamed. "Yeah, I'm fine, but I'll be living up here from now on. It's even harder-" he cleared his throat, frowning and pushing Clark's gentle hands away. "-to get down." 

It was Clark's turn to frown. "I'm sorry," he said softly. 

Lex awkwardly reached out to get the bag containing the presents, keeping his balance, then slapped Clark on the arm amiably as he stood straight. "Oh, that's fine with me. Just your dad might not be too happy with a Luthor taking up residence above where he sleeps. Great view though." 

Clark's smile looked suspiciously like it held '_I'll humor him_' tones. He bent down to grab his cup of cocoa then placed his hand firmly on the small of Lex's back, indicating that he was to go in front. 

Lex sighed, feeling the heat of the boy's hand through his winter coat. He wished that Clark could just please stop touching him like that. It was what kept Lex up nights when he had early meetings, what kept him occupied on long trips, elevator rides and basically at any spare point in time. It was also what kept him from being romantically interested in anyone that he could have even the slightest chance with. As long as Clark continued to touch him in the same manner, continued to look at him with those adorable and loyal eyes of an intelligent, loving puppy he was sure he'd never be able to be enticed by anyone else. Even knowing that the boy looked up to him in ways and treated him like family didn't console the Luthor. He didn't want to be family, an older brother to Clark Kent. He wanted to be more. 

Sometimes, but especially at night, his thoughts would carry him to Clark's barn. There would be stolen kisses in the moonlight, bruising in their passion, with the rain pouring hard outside adding to their soundtrack of needy pants and lustful moans. Hands would roam and clothes would be discarded. Everything would be forgotten except the nearness of each other and the physical pleasure that they could gain from that nearness. 

He wanted Clark to willingly be his, just as Clark already owned his every breath. 

_Kent has no clue what power he holds over me._

They reached the other side of the roof, and Lex was surprised to see Clark's father on the shingles with his arms around his wife who was sitting with her back to him, in between the man's long legs. He almost blushed at the intimacy that he was privy to, somehow more embarrassed now than when he was nine and had, at a Christmas party, walked in on his cousin and girlfriend getting it on in a coat closet. 

He smiled warmly at the Kents, trying to ignore the look Jonathon was giving him. It was the same grudging look that he had seen the last time he spoke to the man in the barn about investing in the farm. A look that seemed to growl at him, asking '_Why are you here?_'. 

He felt the weight of the motorcycle part in his bag. _Why do I even bother?_

Clark sat next to his mother and patted the shingles next to his right side, looking up at Lex expectantly. 

_Oh, yeah_, he thought, sitting next to Clark, close enough that their shoulders brushed comfortably against each other. He could see the same puppy-like look in Clark's round, green-blue eyes. _That's why._

"Nice to have you up here, Lex." 

He smiled. He could always look to Martha for civility. "Thank you, Mrs. Kent." 

He stared out into the vast wide open and realized why the Kents were sitting on top of their house. Stared out along the entire wintry view, fields teeming with snow, he felt a tremendous peace settle over his anxious and work-ridden mind. 

There were very few houses scattered about- six that he could see- but their festive lights were spectacular, color reaching to tint the white yards and fields the many different colors of the holiday. The snow was deep enough that it covered the grasses in one thick undisturbed layer, making the illusion of a pigmented ground seemless. 

"It looks like the Aurora Borealis. Only of the fields." The genuinely awed comment earned him smiles from all three family members. 

"It's gorgeous," murmured Jonathon, most likely too lost in the beauty as the sun meandered down past the more distant cornfields to realize he had just agreed with a Luthor. 

"Want some?" Lex looked over to see Clark pointing to his cup and thought for a moment. "Is it homemade?" 

Martha leaned around Clark and looked directly at Lex, all business. "Of course." 

Clark laughed looking at his mother. "Mom's a little over-protective about her cocoa." 

He nodded, smiling. "I'd love some." 

Jonathon's voice filtered back into the conversation. "There's no more in the pot, Clark, remember?" 

"Oh, I could heat up the rest, Jon." 

_Sweet of her_, he thought. "That's fine, Mr. Kent, Mrs. Kent. Thanks anyway, Clark." 

"Here." Clark held out his cup. From the looks his mother and father were giving him, Lex guessed Clark had never been much on sharing things that had the possibility of carrying cooties. 

"You sure?" he asked, wary. 

"Yeah." He thrust the cup at Lex. "You can have the rest. There's not much left in there though. And no whipped cream, sorry." 

_Whipped cream?_ The smug smile on Clark's face told Lex he should get the personal joke, but he couldn't place it. 

He took the warm cup from Clark, his heart pattering a little faster when Clark's labor callused fingers brushed his own slender ones, and felt by the weight that the cup was still at least half full. He blew on the contents, hot enough that he could see the steam and could feel the heat from inside. He closed his eyes, and brought the mug to his mouth. As his lips met the ceramic cup they parted and his tongue secretly and intentionally licked a small spot where he hoped Clark's lips had been pressed. He took a sip and the hot, concentrated, chocolately liquid flooded his mouth then trickled down his throat. He let a groan of satisfaction and opened his eyes. 

Clark quickly looked away from him and, even in the dim light, Lex could see that he was blushing. His heart sped up over the implications of his friend's cerise glow. 

_Was he… watching me? Why?_

"Good?" 

He nodded, tearing his eyes from the blushing farmboy to look at Martha. "Very good. I've never had any that tasted so much like actual chocolate." 

She grinned at him, pleased, and leaned back into her husband. "Thank you, Lex." 

His view returned to the fields, grateful that Martha had called him by his first name. He had been worried that he had lost that privilege after covertly inviting them to his house to discuss their own personal financial problems instead of the farming community's as a whole. 

"What brings you over?" asked Jonathon. His voice was a little cold, but Lex could tell Martha had gotten to him about being courteous to their rich visitor. 

"I wanted to play Santa Claus." He put his drink down and handed the bag to Clark. "Go ahead." 

Clark grinned at him, flashing so much white that Lex briefly thought about presents becoming a norm, but Clark would be too polite and well-mannered to accept them, and Jonathon would most likely catch on to Lex's feelings about his son. 

"Mom," started Clark, pulling out the first box. "This one has your name on it." He handed it over to his surprised mother and dug back into the bag. He pulled out his own present in a box almost as big as Martha's but deeper, then looked back into the bag. A smile formed as he realized the last package was for his father and he turned to Lex, inching close enough to cost Lex his normal heart rate. He watched the warm breath plume flow from Clark's pink lips. "What'd you get him?" he whispered. 

Lex swallowed thickly. "Something useful, I hope." 

Clark handed Lex his own present, still untouched and currently forgotten, as he was more interested in just what Lex had purchased his father. Lex would have laughed at how eager Clark was for Jonathon to like his friend with the unsightly Luthor surname if it didn't so closely mirror his own desperation. 

"Here, Dad."   
  
  
  
  


**...To be continued [will be finished before X-Mas, I _PROMISE_!!]**


	2. Chapter Two

**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**

TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter Two]   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.   
RATING: PG-13   


* * *

  
**What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?**

_Chapter Two_   


Jonathon frowned and he maneuvered around his petite wife to take the breadbox-sized package. He looked to Lex and nodded. "Uh, thanks, Lex," he said, stumbling awkwardly around the words. 

Lex couldn't understand or describe it, but a warm feeling gushed through his stomach when Jonathon spoke his name. Not the same as the heated sensations that tore through him when Clark said his name in an undertone, or called to him from out of the blue, but it was still just as much of a jolt, holding just as much power. For once the man's tone lacked antipathy, was absent of the inflection bordering on- or perhaps duplicating strongly- despise. 

Martha crossed her legs and turned to face her husband and the package. Even she, the most polite and thoughtful person Lex had ever met in his life, had abandoned all pretense of being interested in her own present, at least for now. 

Lex's stomach was suddenly churning sickly, and he wished he could have just brought Clark and _only_ Clark his present. But _no_, he had to pick up the damn jacket, then feel obligated to buy a man who disdained him a gift that he might actually like. 

_What if he's already got it?_

Then at least he had tried. 

_What if he thinks it was rude of me? Or thinks that I thought he couldn't afford it?_

Lex had had enough problems with the Kent family and money. He didn't want this to be another. 

_What if it doesn't fit his model?_

No, he'd seen the motorcycle and had made sure- 

_What if-_

"Open it already, Dad." 

Lex smiled clumsily and turned to look at Clark, thankful for the interruption of his paranoid thoughts, when he noticed how the twinkling Christmas lights fell on his friend, who was currently watching his father with fretful anticipation. It hit Lex just how much Clark wanted the man to like his friend, not just for his own sake, but primarily for Lex's. 

His chest swelled with emotion and before he knew just what he was doing, his hand was reaching to brush the ink-hued hair away from Clark's neck. He wanted so badly to run it through the kid's gorgeous locks, touching the wild thatch that looked impossibly soft and abstractly silky. He wanted to breathe in the tips of his fingers in the middle of tomorrow's phone conference and see if the scent of Clark would linger. 

"I doubt it bites, Jonathon." 

Martha's urgent whisper startled him back into reality milliseconds before his hand touched Clark and he jerked it back, thanking whatever guardian angel had gone astray from his or her real heavenly task long and far enough to chance into Lex's life and keep him out of trouble. 

He heard the paper rip and looked back out into the psychedelic field, not able to watch what could be an incredibly disappointing stagnation. 

"Oh… wow," came Martha's surprised words. 

He looked back to find Clark's mouth parted slightly in surprise and dared to look over to Jonathon. The look on the man's face made Lex feel like a kid that had cleaned up his room and the _entire house,_ inside and out, without even being asked first. 

Jonathon looked up at Clark who shrugged, looking just as surprised as he and his wife. 

Lex figured this was the opportunity to explain. "Clark mentioned how you couldn't get it for your motorcycle until after Christmas and I-" He cut himself off before his sentence ended with _know a guy_. That sounded too dumb. "I thought you might like it before then." 

Jonathon looked up and smiled at him. An actual honest to God smile. Lex was glad that he was already seated solidly, otherwise he would've made quite a spectacle of himself. "Thanks." 

Lex just nodded numbly, thinking a smile from the elder Kent was something he might never in his life see again. He watched as Clark motioned for his mother to go next. She opened the box and smiled with delight at its contents. 

"If it's the wrong size," he started. "-you can return it for another. Or anything you want, really." 

She took the jacket out of the box and put it on. "I love it." 

"I have the receipt just in case." 

"It fits, Lex. Thank you." 

He reached into his coat pocket to retrieve the scrap of paper. "But if it's not really your style-" 

He felt Clark's hand on his knee, and almost jumped. "It's okay. She likes it." 

He looked to Martha and she nodded. 

He smiled. "Okay. I'm glad. I knew it would look good." 

"You were right." Jonathon looked at his wife with such obvious love and affection that Lex had to look away. He didn't have to wonder where Clark got his ability and freedom to express his affections, and wished for an instant that he had been raised with the same openness of sentiments. 

He felt a tug on his slacks, and looked over to find Clark eyeing the package in Lex's lap. He laughed and handed the box to Clark who immediately began to tear the paper off. 

In the seconds before Clark opened the gift, Lex felt a different kind of anticipation bubbling inside of him. He _knew_ Clark was going to like what he got him, so it wasn't the gut-wrenching experience that watching Jonathon had been. It was more fun than he'd ever had giving another human a present. 

He also knew he was going to have to explain it before Clark could fully appreciate the gift. 

Clark took off the lid and pulled out three medium-sized ring binders, thick with well organized papers. He looked at Lex, curious, and Lex reached over to open the first binder to the cover page. He grinned as he saw Clark's jaw drop. "MASS?" 

"I take it you know who they are." 

"Yeah. Metropolis Astrophysical and Astrochemical Studies." 

He nodded, pleased that Clark didn't have to be sold on the gift. He was already hooked. "My father funds the biological studies foundation up in Metropolis. I fund the astronomical studies foundation. Recently they've opened up new project areas, trying to find new planets, new galaxies and the like, but they're using different, more unconventional techniques." 

Clark raised his eyebrows at this, and Lex held up his hands. "I'm only the bearer of gifts here, not explanations. Their research is practically unreadable to commoners like me, so they have clerks go through it and translate it into standard English. I still don't understand a lot of it, but I'm sure you will." 

He took the opportunity to scooch a little closer to Clark, putting one hand on the roof less than and inch behind the farmboy, inconspicuously feeling the powerful back with his arm, and used his other hand to turn the page to the table of contents. "It's basically all of the results of what they've been doing so far. This is literally everything, so you may have to wade through a ton of uninteresting babble. I don't know. I love science, but astronomy-" He gestured to the stars. "Something too big for me to conquer." Clark smiled at that, still looking at the contents, and Lex continued. "This is all of what's in the first book of the first volume." 

Clark looked up at him, and Lex's heart sped up a notch as the boy's forehead briefly touched his own. "Three binders for one volume?" 

"Yeah. That's just what they've sent me since I started contributing financial subsidies for their newest programs." He winced at the mention of monetary help, but the senior Kents seemed too caught up in his gift to Clark to even notice. 

_Good sign._

Clark shook his head, eyes wide with amazed gratitude. 

Lex wanted to just stay within this moment in time, within this proximity to Clark forever. "I knew you'd like it. You've mentioned being interested in astronomy and you've got that telescope in the barn." He caught Clark's slight wince and figured he didn't want to think of the girl so far out of his reach. 

Lex could relate. He scooted away from Clark, too aware of Lana's sudden influence on the atmosphere. "If you want them," he continued, bringing his knees up to his chest and letting his arms rest on top. "-and whatever else I receive, I can just tell them to send me doubles. It's no problem, really." 

Clark looked to his parents, amazing Lex once again with a natural goody-goody disposition that he, as a Luthor, just couldn't comprehend. 

Both Jonathon and Martha, stunned at Lex's thoughtfulness, nodded, Jonathon more vigorously than even his wife. 

Clark looked back to his friend. "Thanks. Really, I mean it, Lex." 

He could tell by the look in Clark's eyes that the boy felt his words were not enough. Flashes of a fast car and even faster flooding water filled his mind. He could understand times when vocalizations seemed inadequate. "It's the least I could do," he said softly. 

He felt a shift in Clark's gaze and he looked away quickly, knowing that if he stared into the quasar too long, he'd get lost and bawl like a baby when he was finally found and taken away. 

Clark stood up and pulled gently on Lex's coat. "Come on." 

Lex looked up and took the proffered hand, standing. "Where're we going?" 

"I've got a Christmas present for you, too." Clark walked off, leaving Lex to grab his cocoa, wave goodbye to the other two Kents and tag along carefully behind their son. When he and Clark got to the top of the roof Lex felt a cold, heavy dread fill his gut. He looked down to the ground. "Clark-" he whispered. He felt mortified about having to ask for an easy way down, but if anyone had to see him like this, at least it was Kent. 

"It's alright," Clark said walking down to the edge of the roof, Lex stopping short a foot behind him. "I've got an idea. Just sit here and finish your cocoa and I'll be right back." 

Lex smiled and did as he was told, wincing a little as Clark jumped off of the roof and down to the railing, then off the railing and onto the ground. He took another sip of the cocoa, thinking how wonderful it would be to be so nonchalant about heights. He didn't understand his fear, it was just something that "was" about him. He didn't remember a time when he could be up on something tall, even a ladder, and not get tingly all over with the fear of falling. Just the thought of heights made him physically ill. 

He downed the very last of Clark's drink when he saw Jonathon's truck pull up to the front of the house, and he saw that the bed had been covered by a metal cabin. He watched as Clark parked it right below where he was sitting, then got out and climbed atop via the hood. 

Clark looked up to him. "Toss me the cup." Lex did and stood up, looking gingerly over the edge. Instead of a five foot jump to the railing he had a three and a half foot jump onto the metal covering of the bed. He looked up at Clark who was watching him patiently but with a certain level of expectance, and smiled. "Here goes nothing, huh?" 

Clark gave him a comforting smile, but said nothing, so Lex, feeling brave for what he was about to do- and weak for needing the assistance in the first place- did an internal countdown. 

_3…… 2…… 1……_

"Blast-off," he muttered and jumped down.   
  
  
  
  


**...To be continued [will be finished before X-Mas, I _PROMISE_!!]**


	3. Chapter Three

**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**

TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter Three]   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.   
RATING: PG-13   
POSSIBLE AU WARNING: In this story Clark's grandfather [Jonathon's dad] was still alive when Clark was a kid.   


* * *

  
**What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?**

_Chapter Three_   


He landed solidly on his feet, perfectly balanced and stable, but Clark's hands still shot out to grab his shoulders. He suppressed a smile when he felt Clark's grip tighten reassuringly, the boy's thumbs moving up and down in what Lex was beginning to notice as a habit. "Thanks." 

"No problem." Clark then let go, walked down to the hood and jumped off. Lex followed and walked to the porch, waiting as Clark drove the truck to the other side of the house, then ran back to Lex carrying the three binders under his arm. 

"Come on," he said and took Lex's hand, pulling him inside and letting the screen door slam behind them. As they went up the stairs, Lex's stomach did flip-flops leaving him a little disoriented from Clark firmly holding his hand. Once again he caught himself wishing that the kid was a little less self-assured and, well, _physical_ in his expressions of friendship. Not that Lex didn't want the contact- he did. He was just a little too emotionally involved to not want to read something like attraction into every grab, every touch, every smile and every look. Attraction that he knew was not there. 

His head suddenly filled with an image of being pushed into the nearest wall, pictures raddling with the vibrations caused by forceful passion, his mouth suddenly and hungrily covered by Clark, whose wandering hands were finding their way down Lex's back to grab and squeeze. He could hear himself moaning into Clark's mouth, and could feel the boy push harder against him. 

_Christ. _He shook his head, clearing the image from the widescreen inside his head, but unable to rid himself of the sensual residue left over from his libidinous jolt. 

As they approached Clark's room and the boy still did not let go of his hand, Lex became flustered. Going into Kent's room _while_ holding his hand was a little intimate, at least to him, and though he liked it, he wasn't sure that it was the best idea for his heart's sake. Lex subtly pulled his hand away, both relieved and disappointed at Clark's lack of protest or even acknowledgement. 

Opening the door to his bedroom, Clark walked in and Lex stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He looked around in amazement at his friend's tidy room. When he had been Clark's age, he had also been as naturally organized, but thanks to his rebellious nature and his inability to reach his father directly, the maids ended up cleaning more and more elaborate messes until they had quit, one by one, on his father. Of course Lionel refused to let Lex win these little battles, always hiring a new maid only days after the last quit. Finally he hired a particularly unique woman that on one rainy day absolutely refused to clean up Lex's room by herself. 

He smirked to himself remembering the tiny blonde fireball. He had respected her the moment she told him to get off his seditious, anarchistic ass and help her clean it up. _Now_, she had said, and Lex had jumped off the bed laughing. 

Clark turned to find the smile on Lex's face. "What's so funny?" 

Lex shook his head. "Nothing. You're very neat." 

Clark smiled, depositing the binders on his desk and moved into his closet to take off the blue sweater he'd been wearing. 

It was warmer in the house, warm enough that Lex had an itch to take off his heavy, black winter coat, which reached from his neck to his ankles in nothing but pure cozy heat. He watched Clark put his sweater away, noticing that the boy's thin undershirt- a short-sleeved, brown tee- wasn't obscenely tight, but it hugged his shoulders and arms nicely, and the dark color brought out the brightness of his eyes, the rich black of his hair. 

Lex looked to the floor, letting his hand glide over his bald head as if trying to wipe away any currently unwelcome thoughts. 

"Thanks for the present, Lex." 

He looked back up and shrugged. "Well, I know you like space... among other things within a telescope's reach." He grinned a grin that felt like it took on the expression of wry confidence, and hoped his jealousy at the girl next door was well concealed. 

Clark turned to look at him and the countenance of the kid's face threw him for a loop. It was the first time Lex had ever seen Clark look like he was trying to hide something, like he for once seemed as confused as Lex sometimes felt. 

He was on the verge of an epiphany when the gorgeous boy smiled, completely obliterating any thought from his mind. 

"Right," Clark said walking over to his bookshelf where Lex was surprised to see the antique box he had given Clark. The boy grabbed it and walked over to Lex, standing there for a moment, staring at the lead case and collecting his thoughts before he spoke. "Do you have any idea how hard you are to shop for?" 

Lex nodded, wondering why Clark was currently refusing to meet his eyes. "What do you get the rich kid with everything, right?" 

"Right. So you being, well- _you_... It made it difficult on me. I had to think about it especially hard." 

"I'm flattered I got the delivery boy to think," Lex said with a small smile. It was true; he was a little thunderstruck that Clark had put so much thought into a gift for him. 

Clark ignored his humor. "I mean what exactly does Lex Luthor need?" 

_Only the angel in front of me._

He cleared his throat. "What was the conclusion?" 

Clark shifted his weight between his feet, and scratched the back of his head with his free hand, endearing him even further into the heart of the young man before him. Looking down at the lead box, Lex found himself impatiently curious as to what it held, and was not afraid to break one of the codes of 'Luthordom' and show that impatience. "Clark?" 

"Yeah, um… Okay. When I was younger my grandfather always wore a chain around his neck that had this little gold symbol on it. It looked like a- like a Greek letter and one day I asked him what it was. He told me it that was this Norse rune, Thurisaz." He opened the lead box and pulled out an eighteen-inch silver box-chain with a silver medallion dangling at the end. "He told me it was for, among other things, opening gateways in life, getting the hand of fate to help you out, and, uh…" Clark finally met his eyes and Lex's heart stopped at the depth of devout fondness he found there. "Protection." 

Clark looked away before he could see Lex's eyes close in intense desire and love. 

_Concentration. You need to concentrate._ It was all he could do not to pull the boy to him and kiss him hard, needing to feel their breath mingle. The care, the concern, the friendship. It all meant so much to him. Too much to just be ruined by a callous and selfish act such as that. 

_I'm so fortunate that I even know him like I do._

So Clark couldn't be his. Fine. At least he had the farmboy's friendship. That was what mattered, and Clark's gift proved the extent of the emotions was more than mere comrades. They were companions of a sort. 

He heard the heavy, metal lid close and opened his eyes to see apprehension in the turquoise eyes before him, immediately grasping that Clark misunderstood Lex's reaction. 

"No, Clark, I-" 

"I understand. It was kind of stupid." 

Lex grabbed the lead box and, finding no surface near him on which to put it, bent down to place it on the floor. He then stood, grabbing the boy's hands- one still holding the argent adornment- and held them in his own. 

He waited for Clark's eyes to meet his. "You can't fathom how much this means to me, Clark. To know you care enough to… to-" 

"To want to protect you?" the boy supplied softly. God how Lex just wanted to take him in his arms and hold him. 

"Yes," he whispered, not trusting the sound of his voice to carry without shaking. There was something in Clark's gaze that was setting his soul aflame, something that he knew had to be merely reflecting from his own on to Clark's, because otherwise that meant that the kid felt… That Clark possibly… 

Lex, without thinking, pushed Clark's hands to their respective sides, making room for him to move forward. He saw that Clark didn't recoil at the closeness, didn't step back, and his fingers increased the tightness of which he held the boy's hands. Lex took another tiny step closer, clearly invading personal space now, and started to lean into Clark. 

_Those lips are so close._

The slam of the screen door from below startled both of them, and they each pulled away looking elsewhere. Lex could see Clark's uncomfortable frown from his peripheral vision. 

_Idiot!_ his mind screamed. _What have I done? Shit._

"I, uh…" he panicked, his mind blank. "I gotta go." 

He looked to Clark and thought for a moment that he saw disappointment there. 

_You also thought you saw love, moron._

He winced and turned to leave. A hand, brief, unsure and not at all like Clark's previous contact, stopped him. He cringed at the thought of all of the pats, nudges and touches he had just forsaken by trying to take heaven as his own kingdom. By going too far. 

"I'll walk you out." The voice was careful, monotone and he merely nodded, grim at heart, not turning to look at Kent for fear of what he might or might not find there. 

They walked down the stairs, Lex a few feet in front of Clark, and to the front door. 

"Leaving, Lex?" called Martha from in the kitchen. He could smell butter cookies and more hot cocoa heating up. He was suddenly wishing that he had grown up here, in a loving gentle environment, with nothing but the opportunity to turn out as wonderfully as Clark had. To be able share your every thought and be anything in the world that your heart desired. 

He wondered what Clark's heart desired. 

"Yes, Mrs. Kent. Thank you for having me." 

"No problem." 

He headed out the door, listening with some surprise as the footsteps behind his continued. He reached his car door, grabbing the keys from within his pockets. 

"Lex?" 

He forced himself to look back to his friend and saw anxiety there. 

_Damn, damn, damn_. God, what he wouldn't do to remove it, to take away what he had just done. 

_Tried to do._ Tried. _You didn't actually _do_ anything._

He almost kicked himself hard in the ass, because what he "hadn't" done had forced the beginnings of a rift to develop, and he knew rifts all too well. 

Clark looked up to the roof of his house and Lex's gaze followed, surprised to find that Jonathon was still up there. 

Then Clark's eyes were on him again. "Come back tomorrow. Please?" 

He wasn't sure he heard right. Was Clark actually asking him to return? 

"Huh?" 

_Smooth, jackass._

Clark shoved his hands deep inside his pockets. "Dad and Mom and me are gonna spend all day Christmas Eve putting up the lights. We would have done it earlier, but things around here got so hectic…" he trailed off. "Come back tomorrow night and watch with us as we turn them on." 

Lex looked at the man on the roof. 

"Please, Lex." 

He wished his name didn't sound so right coming from Clark. He looked up at the boy, and was amazed to find the loyalty, the puppy, was still there, despite the confusion Lex had caused. 

_Stop looking at me like that, damn it!_

He shook his head and turned back to the car, unlocking the door. "Your dad might have been pacified with that automobile part-" 

"It was more than that." 

"-but he still doesn't like me, and-" 

"Lex." 

"- he wouldn't want me intruding on your night as a family. I-" 

"Luthor." 

The stern but humor-filled tone surprised him, as did the hand on his shoulder, not as skittish as when Lex had turned to leave Clark's room, but not as comfortable as it had once been. 

The hand turned him around until he faced Clark, who handed him the medallion. He saw in the moonlight that the Norse rune was embossed into the sterling plate, drawn in gold leaf: a straight line down and a triangle protruding from the middle of the line. 

_Protection._

"Dad will be fine with your company. Unless you have other plans?" 

Lex shook his head, not looking up from the necklace. 

"Good. Then consider yourself invited. Drive safe, okay?"   
  
  
  
  


**...To be continued [will be finished before X-Mas, I _PROMISE_!!]**


	4. Chapter Four

**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**

TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter Four]   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.   
RATING: PG-13   


* * *

  
**What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?**

_Chapter Four_   


He touched the medallion around his neck, thinking of Clark's last words. Oddly, enough he'd found that wearing the thing had indeed forced him to think more about his driving. He went slower, especially around turns and bridges- one in particular- and strayed from icy patches. He kept closer to the posted speed limits and during a small trip into town, busy as it was on Christmas Eve, found himself using tips from the defensive driving class he had taken almost seven years ago. It was as if the necklace embodied all of Clark's concern, taking control of him and compelling him to be more careful with the life that the farmboy had spared and invested in. 

Arriving precisely five minutes before the time Clark asked him to be there- the only person other than his father that he ever bothered to extend this courtesy towards- he didn't see anyone around outside, so he took the moment to just sit in his car, fingering the silver gift from Clark and watching the nocturnal sky saying it's nightly farewell to the sun, the starry firmament being revealed inch by aching inch. 

He sighed. All day long he had been tormented by his memories of last night coming back to both please and haunt him. Pleasing him were the recollections of Clark's innocent touches; the ones before he had screwed up. The looks Clark was always giving him, the fact the he had been allowed to drink from the other boy's cup, and that he hadn't been judged for even a moment when Clark realized his fear of heights… Best of all, the part that pleased him to most, was the profound moment when Clark had explained the gift he had found for Lex. 

"The only thing I need," he whispered. Clark thought it was protection, and though he certainly needed protection- mostly from himself- he knew what he really and truly needed most was Clark's unending presence in his life, and he had almost cost himself that company because of his stupid lust. Lust that had become very powerful, but not so much so that couldn't have stopped himself from acting on it. 

_Idiot._

Clark, however, being the wonder kid that he was, had most likely taken pity on him for his crush, his desires, and wanted to give the Luthor another chance at the friendship. Lex didn't want pity, but couldn't handle distance, not from the one true friend he'd ever had, not from the one person who wanted nothing but a friendship from him. So he'd take the pity, live with it hoping that the memory of last night would eventually fade, like the colors in the sky were doing now. Clark would no longer feel sorry for him, the pity that had originally run so deep would eventually become very small, just melding into the friendship. Only a semblance to emotion, a tiny fragment of the whole that Clark would never be able to decipher. 

Staring out the windshield, he caught movement from inside the barn, and got out to see if it was where Clark was biding his time. As Lex neared the farmhouse, he tucked the medallion under the neck of his shirt, feeling awkward about Clark's reaction to him wearing it. He noticed the strings of bulbs strategically lining the house and actually found himself anticipating the ceremony that a mere half hour or so should bring. 

_It would be Clark of all people that would get me into the festive spirit._

He'd no longer cared for Christmas, as he had no reason to celebrate it. His father had been cold, non-existent during the holidays ever since Lex's mother died when he was eleven. No trees, no dinners, not even a Christmas tiding since Lex moved out at eighteen to go to college. 

He could still remember the sweet times with his mother and father, then his idol, sitting around a sparkling tree with a multitude of presents- mostly his- gleaming under the tree. Times when Christmas Eve had been as it was supposed to be: pure anticipation for a child, all about the glee- and toys- that the next day would hold. 

Times when his father, still brutal to outsiders, had a soft spot he kept preserved and open to his two family members. 

Lex allowed himself a dreary little smile at the memories of the days long since past, days he knew would never come to be again. His mother had been the glue holding the Luthor's together, and the loss of her had unraveled their close-knit chemistry sending the two males to ruefully scatter to their own lives earlier than a father and son should have. It was harder seeing Lionel now the way he was, the way _they_ were, knowing that the two of them had once been very close, that they had once cared. 

_Father and son._

Even on the best of days Lionel and he had nothing on Clark and Jonathon. The two had what seemed to be the perfect father-son relationship, and Lex sometimes envied that. Not always, because he had been born accustomed to what his daily life afforded him, but every now and then he'd like to be able to savor a little parental influence within the cold stone walls of the manor. 

It humored him a little to think that he'd be welcoming in Christmas Eve- and possibly early Christmas Day depending on how long the Kents kept him over- with Jonathon Kent, though he doubted the humor was a collective entity. 

Despite the man's intense dislike for him, he respected the senior Kent, and had a penchant in his heart for someone who obviously cared so much for his son. No, Jonathan didn't know Lex, didn't know who he was as a person, but he immediately became a shield trying to protect what he still saw as his 'little boy' from the inimical influence of the Luthor domination. Of course, no one knew better than Lex about what his last name could do, what kind of hurt it could inflict, and he would go to the end of the world to keep Clark from ever having to endure that kind of agony. 

He just had to find a way to convince Jonathon of that. 

"Clark?" he called out as he neared the barn where the farmboy spent so many hours. As he entered he saw the last of the flickering shadows dancing on the wall and realized that this was what had caught his attention from the car. 

He was going to head over to the house when his curiosity got the better of him. He walked over to the steps leading up to the loft and- one hand jammed into the pocket of his open winter coat, the other holding tightly to the splintery banner- ascended them, watching his feet on each step. 

_Clark's personal space_, he thought. He remembered telling Lana Lang at her last birthday party of one of his: coat closets, where he would hide during parties and get-togethers that made him feel out of place and undesired. The only difference between his closets and his friend's 'Fortress of Solitude' was that people wanted to be around Clark Kent and his bright, contagious smile, so they eventually came looking for him. No one had ever come looking for Lex as he hid there, though the few that had stumbled upon him had always momentarily raised his hopes. Tragically, they were only depositing or picking up their fleece, wool, or mink garments. Those coats had been Lex's harborage. He'd spent hours camouflaged between huge and soft, furry coats, comforting coats of people who could've given a rat's ass about the lonely little boy taking refuge along side their costly garments. 

It had been his secret desire that once, just _once_, his father would find and sit down with him. They didn't have to talk, there were no words that either of them could have made fit. He just wanted to sit there in concealment and quiet with his father. To this day he couldn't help but wonder if his father knew just where his son had been. 

He reached the top of the loft and immediately noticed the lack of the telescope, Clark's eye into the world of everything Lang. Wondering if Clark had taken it in the house to clean or fix it, he walked over and stood a few feet from the open loft door, not daring to get any closer. The sun was setting low on the horizon to the north-west, so he had nothing but a full shot of inky-black sky to the south-east, sprinkled with a few glittering solitaires, most hidden by clouds quickly moving to blanket the sky. He remembered the forecast calling for possible snow. 

He spotted Lana's house a little ways down the dirt-road and brought up a mental picture of Clark's love and minor obsession. It was obvious why Clark- and how many others?- fancied the enigmatical brunette. She was as sweet and gorgeous as they came, innocent, but not nearly as naive as one would think. Much like Clark himself. They'd make the perfect couple. 

His lips pulled back into a grim line, and his proud shoulders fell. To find himself jealous of a sixteen year old girl, envious of her and desirous of her farmboy's affections… It was not someplace he would have ever imagined himself being, and yet here he was, wallowing in the insecurity, in the rivalry that only he himself knew existed. 

It was safer that way, though. He would then be the only one to see himself fail miserably for the first time in his life. The only one to see himself internally struggling to pick up the pieces of his shattered soul and try to find balance as Clark finally won out the heart he'd been pining for, for years. 

"What are we looking at?" 

Lex about jumped out of his skin at the voice behind him. He turned to see Clark standing at the top of the stairs, grinning from ear to ear.   
  
  
  
  


**...To be continued [will be finished before X-Mas, I _PROMISE_!!]**


	5. Chapter Five

**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**

TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter Five]   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.   
RATING: PG-13   


* * *

  
**What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?**

_Chapter Five_   


"Didn't mean to scare you." 

"I'll bet," said Lex, returning the smile, his a little less stable than the farmboy's. His recent discovery that Clark could read his mind fairly accurately made looking into his eyes a little disconcerting. 

_Oh, but wouldn't that be embarrassing to see the recognition in his eyes now? The recognition of your adversity towards the teen princess next door?_

No, there was no way that Clark could know what was running through his head. 

"Mom saw your car outside," Clark said, stepping forward. "-and we figured you came out here." He was so easy, so cool and relaxed. Could what happened yesterday really mean so little? 

_Nothing happened._

Lex found himself heavyhearted that Clark didn't seem to even register a little chagrin, a little bashfulness around the man who so obviously was pining for him. In fact he seemed just as brazen as he had been before Lex had moved to- moved to- 

_Kiss him, but goddamnit, make up your mind! You said you wanted him to forget, and that's what he's done. He's forgotten, now let it go._

Clark walked up next to him and stared out at the picturesque scene before him. Lex was surprised to see the eyes darken just a bit as they passed over the Lang house and wondered if Whitney Fordman happened to be paying his lady a holiday visit. 

Lex focused on the fields instead of his friend. "What happened with the telescope?" he ventured. 

Clark cleared his throat. "I found out last week that I get a better view from the north." 

Lex, stunned that Clark had moved the intstrument from it's prime location, looked back to him, but the farmboy kept his eyes rooted to whatever held his attention outside. 

_A week? Clark has been without the Lana Channel for a full week?_

"Is it worth it?" To his embarassment his throat sounded as dry as it felt. 

Clark looked at Lex from the corner of his eye, then back to the landscape, smiling. "Completely." 

Lex wasn't sure what to think. Maybe… 

_Let's not go there, shall we?_

"You know I stare out at this everyday, and most times it's beautiful, but tonight…" he trailed off and Lex looked over curiously at him. The boy was biting his bottom lip, the same full bottom lip that Lex had almost tried out for himself the other night. He licked his own lips and looked away, trying to reign in control of his overactive imagination, begging him to yet again to relay the other night's events and possible subsequent endings. 

Possible subsequent endings, like Clark allowing the kiss to happen, then kissing back, holding Lex to him, and Lex devouring everything inside. 

"It's jarring how magnificent it looks." Clark paused, looking even more reflective. "Especially with a friend." 

_Shit, Clark. I wish you'd just stop speaking sometimes._

"It maintains certain qualities." Lex was trying for the indifferent appreciation, but it wasn't working so he sighed, giving in. "Aesthetically resplendent qualities." 

Clark smiled mysteriously, something Lex had learned to just appreciate instead of trying to elucidate. "Let's go. We're ready to light the house." They turned from the window and walked towards the stairs. 

"That was fast." 

"I wouldn't say that. We've been working on and off in shifts since four this morning." 

"I meant that you're all ready to-" Lex stopped, stunned. "Wait a minute. What?" 

Clark stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to face him. "We've been wor-" 

"Nevermind. I don't think I want to hear that again, you fanatic." He savored the grin he recieved. "Is that how long it normally takes you?" 

Clark shook his head. "We usually do a few hours a day." 

"How many days?" 

"I don't know. Four or five." 

Lex's mouth gaped. "Four or five days?" 

Clark thought for a moment. "Last year's took a full week, but we had a mini-blizzard so that doesn't really count." He turned and headed down the stairs. "Horrible on the crops but you would have loved it, Lex. Snow falling all the time." 

"You really get into this whole 'Christmas spirit' thing, don't you?" Holding the rail a little less tightly with Clark around, he followed his handsome ally down the steps bumping into the broad back as Clark abruptly stopped. He turned with a serious expression on his face, unsettling the chatty mood they had established. "Thanks for coming, Lex." 

_Anytime, Clark._

"Sure. I-," he looked down, thinking about how much he treasured being invited. "Thanks for asking," he said simply. 

There was a moment, a single crystalline moment, transient in its mortality, where Lex thought he saw desire in Clark's eyes. Something thick and special, something more than friends, more than just a fondness. It was deepening their connection, but Lex couldn't trust himself to believe in what he saw. Not after he'd already proven just how inaccurate his usually astute Luthor observations were becoming. 

_Must be on the blink. Damn holidays._

Clark turned, ending the moment, and walked down the last few steps, waiting for and walking out with Lex, keeping his gait slow and relaxed. 

As they came out of the barn a chilled wind hit them from the front and Lex pulled his coat tighter around him, marveling at how the weather seemed to have no effect on Clark. Just as yesterday when the boy had walked him out to his car in only his tee shirt, he appeared to radiate his own natural heat. A heat that Lex very much wanted to be a part of. 

As they drew closer to the farmhouse, he saw Martha and Jonathon step out from the kitchen door carrying two steaming mugs each and conversing affectionately. Immediately, he felt better seeing that Jonathon had acknowledged his presence via the drink and was still able to be jovial. Lex had no illusions of the man's still constant feelings about him and Luthors in general, but his hopes that he could eventually win over his best friend's father were increasing in strength. 

Lex continued to walk ahead, not noticing that Clark had stopped until he felt the boy's hand reach out and pull him back to stand close beside him. "We've got to wait here." 

Lex nodded and breathed in the fresh air as Clark's parents neared. Jonathan greeted him with a thin but genuine smile. "Lex." 

He couldn't help but grin like an idiot back at the senior Kent. There had not been a bit of disdain to the man's posture or within his eyes, and he held only the slightest reserve of hesitancy. "Mr. Kent." 

Jonathon nodded to him, then turned to his son, smile growing in proud recognition of the boy and handing him some cocoa. 

Lex knew that Jonathon Kent had not really been won over by the gift Lex had given him, something comfortably within his own price range and something that he could actually use. It had been nice, no doubt, but a more likely a factor to his suddenly indulgent behavior was the fact that Lex's gift to Clark had taken thought and some honest knowledge of the boy. Not everyone knew of Clark's many varied interests and only a true friend would have thought of Clark while receiving the scientific material. Lex figured that last night was the first time it occurred to Jonathon that a Luthor might be solemnly interested and attached to his son, that maybe the friendship wasn't a one-sided issue that would eventually crush his son. 

He guessed last night was the first time that it had occurred that maybe Lex didn't want to use and change Clark, that maybe he just wanted him for who he was. 

Of course, the fact that Clark had invited Lex over on Christmas Eve to partake in something that people generally kept within the family had probably also struck a cord within the elder Kent. 

"Want some?" 

He looked up to see Martha holding hot cocoa in a large coffee cup, beaming up at him, and his grin grew impossibly wider at the tiny woman's presence. "Absolutely." 

He took the beverage from her and she moved to stand between him and Clark. "Your own cup this time." 

He would have preferred sharing a mug with Clark, but at the same time he liked having a Kent dish specifically designated for him; it made him feel warm and content, even out in the chilly weather. As he took a sip of the sweet, thick liquid, he glanced at the other three faces, amiably talking about something or other, and it settled on him just how lucky he was to have something special to do tonight. Not since he was a child had he had some revelry on Christmas Eve. He made a mental note to find someway to thank Clark for this moment. 

Jonathon stepped back and looked at them, now his three captive audience members. "Are we ready?" 

The look on Clark's face took on that of a six year old who'd just been told that Santa was coming and the cookies were ready, and could he please go to bed before St. Nick skipped the house entirely because one little boy was not yet where he was supposed to be. Lex saw Clark actually bouncing exuberantly on the balls of his feet. "Yeah, Dad. Come on." 

Lex laughed at the enthusiastic display and Clark caught his gaze, narrowing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. He amazed himself- and Clark- by returning the gesture and making Martha laugh. "Boys," she warned and touched Lex's shoulder. He felt warmer from a simple touch of her fingers than a hundred cups of her hot cocoa could've make him. 

"I bet we've got the McKenzie's beat this year, huh, Dad?" 

Jonathon looked at his kid, with a stern face belied only by the humorous glint in the eyes. "Now, son, it's not about outdoing the neighbors. This is about-" 

"Showing our Christmas spirit." Clark finished for him in a mockingly solemn tone that contrasted ardently with the huge, silly grin on his face. 

"Right." Jonathon ruffled his son's hair. "But being more decorative than Jamey and Leeh was the only advantage for being so darn late with the lights." 

Lex couldn't believe he'd just heard the word 'darn' come out of someone older than four. 

_This is so surreal. It's like a Disney movie._ He pondered that for a moment. _But in a _good_ way._

"Alright." Jonathon rubbed his hands together. "Let's see just how our hard work pays off." 

Lex flushed all over with excitement and watched as Jonathon took off towards the house. He breathed in the air again and noticed that the clouds above had grown thicker, the chill more inert, and the electricity in the air- or was that his spirit, taken from the coat closet of his heart and dusted off?- had become more potent. All definite indications of impending snow and Lex hoped it came soon. It would certainly fit with the atmosphere the Kents labored so strenuously to achieve. 

"Okay, everybody," called Jonathan. "Close your eyes." 

Lex watched the other two obey, then followed suit. 

"No peeking, Clark, Martha." A pause. "You either, Lex." 

He kept his eyes closed tight, awed at the feeling of flutters in his stomach. 

_It's just a bunch of stupid colored lights on a house. _He knew it was more than that, though. It was being wanted, it was feeling like you were wanted and that was something he hadn't been for a long time. 

Colors flooded his eyes behind the lids, becoming brighter and brighter and he almost looked. "Not yet," whispered Clark and Martha almost in unison. 

_Is this whole family telepathic?_

Lex breathed in deeply and heard Jonathon running back to them. "Okay. Open up." 

Before he could, he heard the gasp from Martha and a happy, triumphant laugh from Clark. He looked and was rendered speechless. 

_Magnificent._

The house was covered from every angle in colors, but this was not just your typical various multi-colored twinkle-light assemblage. The only colors allowed were red, green, white and a yellow so deep it was gold. The lights were arranged so that the whole roof was glowing in stripes of brilliant red and green, like a huge present wrapped in glittering paper; the porch columns, rails and even the chains to the porch swing, were done up in the pure, angelic white; the four trees closest to the house were dripping in aureate, graced so richly that you felt it in your bones. 

"Wow," Lex croaked. All of that work- since four Clark had said- for something that was only going to last until the New Year. He couldn't contemplate that kind of utter devotion, couldn't even begin to imagine what wholesome vivacity lay within the Kent ancestry. 

The family beside him broke out into spontaneous laughter and glee, the unconditional bliss of the moment announcing itself deafeningly. 

Loneliness stung him as if he'd been slapped in the face, resounding harshly within as the three held each other and spoke all at once. He had been fooling his heart with a glee that would not last. 

_I'll never be a part of it._

How could he have ever imagined that he could? Lex started to push himself away from the moment, not wanting this happiness because he knew it would break him into shards of bitter glass once it was gone. He'd get home to the empty mansion to find it identical to the cold he'd left: sterile and incisive, cutting him internally, just as effective as a surgical blade through his heart. At the manor there would be no Christmas cheer, no intimate laughter, no Clark, and all of the delight would be gone. 

He couldn't take that. He'd had moments, moments here with them that he didn't want to loose. But if he stayed it would just make everything worse for when reality decided it was time to hit home. 

Tears crowded his eyes at the love he saw and the thought of leaving it. _I could stay, stay with them and-_

No. He couldn't stay nearly long enough. The bill would eventually come and by then he wouldn't be able to pay the price. At least now he could leave and be hurt but not thoroughly devastated. 

Clark moved out of his parents' embrace, leaving them to cuddle and he grabbed for Lex. Lex took two steps away, and Clark met his eyes, the merriment molding into concern as he no doubt saw Lex's tears. "What's wrong?" 

_Oh, God. Don't look at him. Just leave before you can't._

He started to walk backwards looking at the effulgent domicile. "Nothing. I uh- I had a great time, and-" his voice cracked on the last few words, and he felt tears trail down both cheeks. 

_Damnit! Luthor's don't cry!_

He didn't want to be a Luthor. He wanted, in the strangest way possible, to be a Kent. Or at least to be able to _fit_ with them. 

"Lex?" Clark started to walk after him and he increased his regressive pace. "What's wrong? Look at me." 

He didn't meet the farmboy's gaze. "I gotta go. I uh-." More tears fell and he sighed. "Tell your mom I said thanks for the cocoa, okay?" he whispered, not knowing what happened to his voice. He reached out his hand with the mug and handed it to Clark, trying to ignore the boy's deliberate touch of Lex's fingers. His friend looked so hurt, not by Lex but _for_ him. 

_Oh, God. You shouldn't have looked._

"Lex?" 

He turned around and jogged in the opposite direction of the family, his long coat flapping gracelessly behind him, ever thankful of Clark's full physique. Without it, he would have seen the looks that both Martha and Jonathan were no doubt still giving him. Looks of concern, yes, because they were good people who cared, but also looks of regret. Regret that Clark had invited the troublesome Luthor boy over. 

He blinked, trying to empty his eyes of the imprudent tears that would not cease. He slowed his jog to a very fast walk and dried his face, looking around. 

He felt instantly worse and part of him wanted to continue crying. He had been so eager to get away from the Kents that he had run in the wrong direction, towards the barn instead of his Porsche.   
  
  
  
  


**...To be continued [this is the second to last chapter :o) I'm almost finished with the finale, Chapter 6!!]**


	6. Chapter Six [Finale]

**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**

TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter Six]   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.   
RATING: PG-13   


* * *

  
**What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?**

_Chapter Six_   


_Christ._

He was just a few feet from the barn and couldn't face the humility of turning around and running, walking, _crawling_ to his car, so he ducked into the barn without even thinking of the consequences. 

Oh, had he ever done it now. Made a complete ass of himself. He felt like collapsing to his knees right there on the dirt floor, but instead he forced himself numbly up the steps and back to where he had stood mere minutes before. He was suddenly back in the coat closet, praying for someone to come be his friend. That was all he had really wanted then, and was still now. He had one in Clark, but he'd just made a complete fool of himself in front of the boy and his family, ruining what should have been a wonderful moment for them. 

He saw the first few flakes of snow falling from the sky above. "God, damn me," he muttered softly. He'd ruined the happy ending he'd earlier so desired for the person he cherished and his loved ones. 

Lex heard the loud footfalls coming up the stairs, and guessed that he was supposed to this time. The gait was slower than necessary, and heavier than usual, giving him enough time to compose himself. 

The footsteps stopped and there was an uncomfortable but manageable silence. 

_I have to explain._

"I'm so sorry," he said, watching as the snow flakes started to fall more rapidly. 

"Lex-" 

"No, Clark." It came out a little more harshly then he intended, but he couldn't help it. "You invited me to a personal celebration and I ended up ruining the entire thing, including the perfect ending with the snow coming down in flurries while you all look up to the heavens in splendid and sumptuous awe." 

"You watch too many movies, Lex." 

"I don't have time for movies." 

There was another moment of silence, thicker than the first and he realized that maybe Clark, like his father in his fantasies of being rescued from his personal shelters, didn't know what to say. Then the familiar voice came from closer behind, soft and pliant to Lex's emotions, whatever they may have been. "You didn't ruin anything tonight, Lex. I swear." 

Though Lex still hated himself for his sudden inability to control his emotions, he believed that Clark, his own personal boy-scout savior, was telling the truth. He sighed, at least a tiny bit relieved that Clark didn't think him moronic. 

"Do you wanna talk about-" 

"No." It was true. He didn't want to talk about why he ran. He didn't even want to think about it. 

They stood there in companionable silence for about a minute before Clark spoke again. "I never noticed it, well, until earlier." He sounded closer, quieter, more contemplative. "You did the same thing the last few times you were up here, but it just never registered." 

He lowered his chin and looked at the farming equipment to his left, seeing Clark in his peripheral vision. "Did what?" 

"Stood so far from the edge." 

He nodded, and looked back outside, still not turning towards his company. "Now you know why." 

He heard the soft padding of Clark's work-boots behind him and did not move. Only when he felt hands around his waist did he start and instinctively move backwards and away from the drop, only succeeding in pushing his rear side up against Clark's front. It was something he'd wanted of course, but under entirely different circumstances. 

"Do you trust me?" The whisper was literally breathed into his ear, the warmth forcing out a shiver. 

"Dumb question, Kent." 

The hands moved away for a moment, pulling Lex's coat back and moving to grab his waist again, the pinky and ring fingers of each hand dipping slightly under the waistband of Lex's slacks for a better grip. He could feel the heat radiating from Clark's fingers and hands through his silk button-down. "Do you want to step to the edge?" 

_Not really._

"Even dumber question." 

"So you want to be afraid." This time it was not a whispered question, but a bluntly stated fact. 

"No," he hissed. "But stepping onto the edge isn't going to suddenly make me wanna climb Everest." 

"Have you ever tried?" The words were once again patient whispers. 

_There are a lot of other things I haven't tried that I'd much rather take a shot at._

"To climb Everest?" he asked, hoping to break the ambience that had settled around them. 

"Lex." Still patient, caring. Insistant. 

"No," he said, and found it amazing how his voice chose that one word, that single syllable to crack on. 

"Then why not try now?" He felt Clark's lips sweep against the top of his ear, and his eyes drooped, suddenly heavy. 

_Oh, God. Does he not know how utterly sensual he is? I just wish he'd-_

He cut off his thoughts there and closed his eyes completely. "Okay. Fine." He shuffled forward a foot, reluctantly parting with the erotic yet comfortable pressure of Clark on his back, and leaving six inches yet to traverse to the edge. 

He breathed in and felt relief as Clark closed the distance, coming to stand right behind him again, almost as close. Lex expected Clark to say something like '_almost there_' or '_just a little more_' but he didn't, maintaining an understanding silence that said more as far as encouragement than any words could have. 

_Any words except 'I love you'._

"Idiot," he muttered. 

"Sorry?" came the confused reply. 

He shook his head. "Just a pet name for myself lately." 

He lifted his head to the stars and opened his eyes, refusing to look below him. He grabbed for the closest side of the loft opening to his right, and reached back to grab Clark's forearm with his left. 

The grip on his waist tightened. "I've got you, Lex." 

"I know." He closed his eyes again and used the toe of his shoe to feel for the edge. When his toe went over he panicked, heart sputtering and breath becoming shallow. 

"Lex." 

_How does he know? _The simple word, a deep voice saying his name and embedded within was affection. Fondness. Care. 

No more encouragement was necessary, he had everything he needed. He planted his extended foot firmly where it was, leaving his toe sticking out an inch and dragged his other foot sluggishly to stop right next to it. 

"There." He didn't even hear himself say the word. It was just a movement of his lips. 

The next instant he felt Clark's cheek press itself against his. He breathed in sharply and held that breath, not really caring but still hoping the boy would think that maybe it just a reaction of his fear of falling. 

"Open your eyes, Lex." 

_No._

"Please?" 

_Uh, uh._

Clark's voice dropped and octave and held a sultry tint to it. "For me?" 

_Damn you._

Lex let out the breath, shaking as he did so, then tilted his head back against Clark's shoulder. The contact was solace to him, and he opened his eyes, but did not move to look down. 

They must have stood there for a full minute like that, not moving, Lex leaning back into the boy, taking comfort in mutual respiration. Lex had focused on Clark's breathing, matching it to calm himself, but noticed that Clark's was still pretty irregular for someone who wasn't afraid of heights. 

_Heart's beating pretty fast against my back, too._

"Lex?" Not impatient. Just curious. 

He said nothing and instead swallowed his fear as best he could. 

_Here we go._

He looked down. 

"God," he gasped as the ground swayed fifty, sixty, seventy feet below him and falling. His world, the barn, the ground and everything surrounding him, spun sickly and his head grew heavy and light at the same time. He was dizzy and his heart crammed into his throat beating cruelly in his stomach, chest and out through his back, all at once. There was a ringing in his ears, the back of his mouth tasted sour and his legs were growing weak. He couldn't feel Clark's hands on him, couldn't feel them even though the boy, his only friend in the world, had once told him that he'd never let him fall. 

He couldn't breathe. 

_I'm hyperventilating._

Suddenly, he was backing away from the edge, but- but he wasn't moving himself. His legs were stiff, wooden, unbendable. So why was he moving? 

An instant later, he realized that the hands around his waist were still there and, finally finding some use to put themselves to, had pulled him away from the open door. Clark had not let go of him. 

_Just like he said._

The same hands were firmly clutching him, moving him to the right, turning him around and pressing him to the wall feet from the opening. He shut his eyes and gasped, leaning there for support, thankful when the hands relocated to under his arms, gripping his upper ribs for support. 

"Easily," he panted. "the second scariest- thing I've ever- been through." He paused, knowing Clark could guess the first. "Top two involve you," he smiled weakly and opened his eyes. Clark's concern was evident and powerful enough to reinstate his previous desire for the boy, who was now so very close. The desire had been forgotten, pushed aside by a fear just as intense, but now it became as much a factor to his increased heart rate as the adrenaline rush. 

After he had his breathing under control, he spoke. "Now, I'm still afraid of heights, Kent. We lost. So what the hell could make fear like that worth the experience?" 

He never saw Clark move. One second there was a foot and a half's worth of distance between the two, the next he was centimeters away from Lex's face looking into the gray-blues with his deep teals. He licked his own lips and Lex panted at the sight. 

"It takes courage to do something that you're afraid to do. I'm not afraid of much-" 

"No kidding," Lex murmured. 

"But I've been afraid of this for far too long, Lex. You just gave me the courage to change." 

Lex felt the soft, pliant lips, lips that he'd craved so desperately, press with sweeping urgency to his own. He trembled, groaning deep in his throat, unable and completely unwilling to hold back. Clark wanted him. 

He parted his lips instantaneously, not waiting for permission to be asked first. He needed to taste Clark, to have Clark inside of his mouth tasting him back. All he wanted, wanted him too and he wasn't going to waste a single imperative shimmer of what he was being given. 

Clark parted his own lips and timidly tasted the young Luthor, running his tongue along Lex's lips, then dipping into his mouth. Lex whimpered in pleasure as he felt Clark shyly licking the roof of his mouth, Clark's hands still holding him tight, and he reached up to infuse his hand deep into Clark's raven-imbued locks, finding them softer and more feathery than he had ever thought possible. He grabbed hold of Clark's broad shoulders, pulling himself up on his toes so that he was hovering slightly above Clark, and delved into the warm heat below him, plunging and thrusting his tongue with such passion that he was beginning to grow weak and lightheaded, but he didn't want to stop. He wanted to saturate himself, wanted to emboss the taste and feel of Clark into him permanently, and the stars blasting before his eyes weren't going to keep him from achieving that. 

Both of Clark's hands moved up and down, caressing his back from the inside of his coat, and only elevating the passion that Lex felt was going to crush him. He felt as well as heard Clark's moan as he forced his increased desire and lust out through the kiss, making the love and devotion he felt deep within his core more transparent and glaring than he could have ever hoped or imagined. 

_Need to breath, Lex. You can kiss him after you take a breath. You don't want to die now, right when you've got what you want most._

Where else would he rather die though, than in the arms of his savior, his best friend, and his one true love? 

He dropped to his heals and leaned back against the wall, but Clark's lips stayed fiercely attached, his tongue still seeking and stroking. Lex pushed splayed hands against Clark's broad shoulders, trying to pry away. Clark growled in protest, and Lex's skin tingled in response, but as his hands and pressure stayed, Clark backed off. 

_He really wants this._

Lex opened his eyes and saw that Clark's were dusky and heated, focused still on Lex's mouth. He desperately needed to calm down, but the lust-filled look Clark was giving him was only making his breathing more ragged and hard to control. 

"Need to- breathe." 

Clark nodded. "Do that." He then attacked Lex's throat with his mouth. Lex felt his groin harden as Clark's tongue glided against the skin of his neck. Hands slid deliberately down his back, around to the front, up his abdomen and then over his chest to undo the first three buttons of Lex's shirt, gaining greater access to the pale skin underneath. There was a brief moment when Lex's breath hitched at the feel of a tongue on hairless upper chest, warm and wet and intimate, then Clark stopped and pulled back, brow furrowed in concentration. 

Lex grabbed the boy's sweater and tugged hard, trying to draw him back to pick up where he left off with the kisses, with his tongue, but instead Clark's hand dipped into Lex's open shirt. He held his breath in sweet, unsure anticipation of just what Clark intended to do, but oh, so fine with it. Then Clark's hand came back out and he sighed in disappointment, his skin feeling cheated. 

_Oh._

Clark's hand had come out holding the medallion. 

"I-" 

"You're wearing it." Clark looked up at Lex with the puppy eyes and for the first time Lex could take them in without regret, without the sorrow that they would never see him like he saw Clark: as a lover. 

"Of course." 

Clark moved in closer, this time much slower and taking that extra time to press his whole body to Lex's. Foot to foot, leg to leg. Lex gasped as he felt Clark's stiffened appendage press against his own, and Clark leaned forward to kiss him again. 

Where the first kiss had been a fast-paced blur of pent up sexual needs from both boys, this one was a sweet, slow-motion, lucid moment. Their first kiss held an overwhelming amount of lust and passion, but their second was so full of love and tender compassion that Lex, inexperienced with either, felt his knees give out under him. 

Clark caught his fall, again not breaking the kiss, and lowered them both to their knees on the sawdust covered floor. One arm snaked around Lex's waist and the other went to cup the smooth scalp, pulling him close. Lex's hands tightened on the sweater, of which he had not let go, and he just let everything about Clark permeate his senses. 

When they finally pulled back, Lex noticed that Clark didn't seem to want to break the contact, still holding his waist and head. 

He searched the boy's eyes and found that he just wanted to come out and say it, damn the consequences. He moved his hand to caress the face, the face that he'd longed to feel beneath his fingertips, that he'd longed to be able to stroke as lovingly as he could, as he _did_, now. "I- I love you. So much so that I can feel my heart just wanting to give up, Clark. You're too much for it." 

Clark's eyes shut tightly and he shoved his face brutally against Lex's neck, his arms trying to seal Lex's body to his in an impenetrable hold, as if he were suddenly jealous, envious of the space in between them, stingy and possesive of Lex and their moment together. "I love you, too," he whispered and Lex could feel him straining furtively to get the words out in the right order. 

_He really means it._

Lex felt on fire, stronger, more buoyant and like his heart could burst through his chest at any second. It took him a moment to recognize this inebriated alertness as bliss, as love requited, as the world suddenly making complete sense, if only for the time he could spend in Clark's presence, in his arms. He was no longer afraid of when he had to return to the mansion, because he knew his real home was with Clark and anytime that he was away was just an inconvience. Clark would always be there, protecting him from himself and his own fears, making him happy, and he would be there to make Clark happy. He would give everything in his Luthor heart, his pale body, his cunning mind and restored soul to make Clark the happiest person on Earth. 

He grabbed Clark's head with one hand and the boy's shoulder with his other arm, hugging him back as hard as he could. This was when his life could start again. The interlude that began when his mother and father had left him- both in painfully diverse methods- ended with Clark. With a love so abudant and replete with selflessness that nothing would ever hurt either of them again. 

"Lex?" 

He smiled against the boy's hair. "Yeah?" 

"What are you doing New Year's Eve?" 

He laughed. "Whatever you want me to be doing." 

"Be with me," Clark murmured. 

He laughed again, truly intoxicated with the boy in his arms. Someone had finally found him and taken him out of that damned closet, but it wasn't just anyone. It was his friend, his companion, and the only one he had ever wanted like this. The only one that could make him feel so complete, so happy and... normal. His first and only true lover. 

He had Clark, and Clark knew just what to say.   
  
  
  
  


**FIN**   


**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**   
**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**   
**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**   
**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**   
**-:)*(:- HAPPY HOLIDAYS -:)*(:-**


End file.
